This was all prompted last Monday. Mike and I were hanging out at Jack and Sandy's, where they were watching an episode of a show called, "The Monster Inside Me." Only watch this show if you want to get freaked out and fear for your life at every banal occurrence. Well, we were watching the case study of one young man, who was suddenly stricken with a severe headache, stomachache, etc. It was debilitating. He went to the hospital and they couldn't figure it out for a while, and they came to find out it was malaria. No good! In trying to figure out how the man had contracted the disease, they asked if he had gone on any trips as of late where he may have been exposed to such a wretched, life threatening illness. "My wife and I just got back from a resort in the Dominican Republic," he answers. Wow. Amazing.
Where are Mike and I going in 1 week? Oh yes. The Dominican Republic.
I have never gone to a country essentially considered third world. England, France, Italy, Ireland - all pretty developed places. So, I didn't even really think about it when we booked our honeymoon. Mistake! The day after this "enlightening" show, Mike and I both called our doctors and tried to schedule an appointment. Just my luck, Mike got an appointment in essentially two days, and I had to wait a week and a half. I didn't think anything of it (because the nurse who I spoke to didn't really say much), until yesterday when Mike came home, two shots in the arm and a prescription for typhoid drugs that he HAD to start 1 week before departure. I started to sweat a little. What if I didn't get in in time? I didn't want to die! What if I got typhoid and Mike didn't because he had the vaccine in time! Yes, I am a drama queen. Always have been. But seriously, the tape of "The Monster Inside Me" was playing over and over in my head, and I just didn't want to go through that! I already have jury duty in August, please don't let me get Malaria too!
So, I called this morning and was told (by a MUCH more helpful person) that I needed to just go to the travel branch and do a walk-in, and it would be fine. I was a bit behind because they usually like to see you two weeks before you depart, but that ship has sailed and sunk. So we have one week left! I was sitting in the waiting room for 1.5 hours. Thank goodness I brought a book with me. I almost lost consciousness from boredom.
Then, this guy walks in, we'll call him "Annoying." He walks in, tells the nurse he needs a vaccine for whooping cough because he just had a baby on Saturday. Great. He proceeds to spell his name as if he was on a phone with a non-native speaker. N as in none. I as in Ice. C as in Coke. K as in kind. That is right. His name was NICK. I am PRETTY sure, you don't need to spell that out. If they have questions, it is usually "K" vs. "ck" and they usually ask. This was just the beginning of this guy giving out way too much information - hereafter abbreviated to "TMI."
He calls up God only knows who, probably a parent or someone who is immune to his ridiculousness, and proceeds to go through each and every health question with them. He knows the answer to most, so I am unclear as to why he is reading all 100 questions out loud over the phone. I am pretty sure you want that information to remain private. But no. Most of them he rattled off a "no" answer to after reading the full question. He clearly didn't need this person's assistance - it isn't a test buddy. You should know the answers. There is no score.
Please keep in mind this was a small waiting room, and it was just he and I. There were a few questions that stuck out to me in our 15 minutes of questioning intimacy: "Question 31: Any history of mental health? Oh yes. " (in my head: great - glad you are begatting.) "Question 51: any problems with gastro-intestinal issues such as severe diarrhea or irrital bowels - yes."
Then, the nurse came and RESCUED me. I am just glad I didn't stick around for "Question 75: regarding hemorrhoids."
